The Mirror in the Girl
Now that Macy talks a little bit and role plays a lot, I'm learning more about myself. I must say "yeah" and laugh a lot on the phone. I love to see how much she kisses and hugs her dolls. And if anything goes anywhere near the toilet she yells "no,no, no!!"
But as a parent I have also learned more about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. This has been a significant blessing to me for which I am very grateful.
A few days after our most recent miscarriage when JD had just returned from another trip to the emergency room for kidney stone pain, I was feeling a little forsaken and not much like praying. I felt that praying had become a useless exercise for me. I've been praying for years for JD to be relieved of the excruciating pain he lives with daily and for us to be able to grow our family. I felt that there was little use in me praying for what I wanted and felt we needed. Obviously, my will was not God's will, so why keep asking?
That morning I was washing all of our bedding and Macy was devastated to see her beloved blanket go into the washer. She was lying on the closet floor sobbing. I kept trying to pick her up and comfort her but she wouldn't let me. I said to her, "I'm right here, let me comfort you." And in that instant my heart softened and I realized that my Heavenly Father felt this way about my stubborn resistance to come to Him. This was a turning point in my healing.
But as a parent I have also learned more about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. This has been a significant blessing to me for which I am very grateful.
A few days after our most recent miscarriage when JD had just returned from another trip to the emergency room for kidney stone pain, I was feeling a little forsaken and not much like praying. I felt that praying had become a useless exercise for me. I've been praying for years for JD to be relieved of the excruciating pain he lives with daily and for us to be able to grow our family. I felt that there was little use in me praying for what I wanted and felt we needed. Obviously, my will was not God's will, so why keep asking?
That morning I was washing all of our bedding and Macy was devastated to see her beloved blanket go into the washer. She was lying on the closet floor sobbing. I kept trying to pick her up and comfort her but she wouldn't let me. I said to her, "I'm right here, let me comfort you." And in that instant my heart softened and I realized that my Heavenly Father felt this way about my stubborn resistance to come to Him. This was a turning point in my healing.
9 comments:
You have me in tears once again! That is a very sweet story that came at just the right time for me. I know you don't like to share personal stories so thank you for putting this out there. You are an amazingly strong person.
Your blog has brought comfort to my soul because it is hard for me not to be there for you. What a great experience to share forever with everyone. Life is certainly a challenge. We love you so much. Love, Mom
Thank you so much for sharing that. What a beautiful story. We love you, you are such an example to us!
That is something we need to all hear. He is there, but are we there to let him comfort us. Thanks Laura.
You are a divine person and friend. Your heart and mine feel so much the same. Heavenly Father is aware of us, and will remember us, blessing us with all that we need. I'm so grateful for your friendship. You are amazing! Thanks for coming out. It was great to see you.
Love,
Brenda
What a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us this month.
"I do know that whosover shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions" (Alma 36:3)
Thank you for sharing your feelings I love you.
Dad
Thank you for sharing that Laura. That was such a sweet story.
It's awesome how parenting teaches us so much about our relationship with Heavenly Father. Thanks a lot for opening up and sharing that with us and thanks again for the great party the other night.
Post a Comment